Disgust is a feeling that makes us want to stay away from something. Imagine smelling something awful or thinking about eating food you hate. That’s disgust. Psychologist Paul Rozin says disgust is mainly about the fear of eating something harmful or poisonous. The strongest triggers are things like blood, poop, and vomit. Interestingly, children only feel disgusted when they are about four years old.
Rozin also talks about different types of disgust. There’s basic disgust, which everyone feels. Then there’s something called interpersonal disgust, which is about how we feel towards other people. He identified four main reasons why we might feel this kind of disgust:
- 1. Awkwardness: When someone acts weirdly or uncomfortably.
- 2. Disease: When someone is sick or looks unclean.
- 3. Accidents: When something gross happens by accident.
- 4. Moral Malice: When someone does something very wrong, like harming a child.
In extreme cases, like immoral behaviour, disgust is very strong. Rozin found that what disgusts people can vary between cultures. In the East, people might feel disgusted by someone who doesn’t fit in or criticises others unfairly. In the West, people are more likely to feel disgusted by racism or violent acts. However, almost everyone feels disgust toward corrupt politicians.
In his book “The Anatomy of Disgust,” William Miller explains that intimacy, like the closeness between family members or lovers, can lower our disgust. Parents change diapers or care for sick relatives, even if it’s gross because they love them. In intimate relationships, we might even enjoy things that would otherwise disgust us, like kissing or sharing personal secrets. Love lets us see each other in ways that might embarrass or disgust others.
Disgust has a good side, too. It helps us avoid things that can harm us, like rotten food and keeps us away from unacceptable behaviours, like violence.
So, how can we use this information?
Remember, it might not be about you when you see someone showing disgust. It could be about the situation or a bad memory. Disgust often comes with anger. If someone shows disgust towards you, it could be because they think they are better than you or because of your work. Focus on their actions, not on them as a person. You might say, “I see that my actions upset you. Can we talk about it in more detail?”
If the disgust is subtle or comes right after you share news, address it directly but gently: “I know this might be hard for you to hear. Do you want to talk about it?”
With loved ones, it’s best to address disgust right away. Ask them, “Do you think I’m being unfair to you?” or “What’s making you feel this way right now?”
Listen to their reasons before judging them. Have a compassionate conversation. Let them know you understand their feelings and want to work together to move past this.
If you realise you’ve been selfish, this is a great moment to apologise and thank them for their concern.
Practical Tips for Handling Disgust
- 1. Stay Calm: Don't react impulsively to someone's disgust. Take a moment to understand their perspective.
- 2. Ask Questions: Try to understand the root cause of their disgust. Ask open-ended questions to encourage them to share their feelings.
- 3. Show Empathy: Acknowledge their feelings and show that you care about their emotional state.
- 4. Offer Solutions: Work together to find a solution that addresses the issue causing disgust.
- 5. Apologise if Necessary: If your actions have caused disgust, apologise sincerely and explain your perspective.
Understanding disgust can help us handle it better in professional or personal relationships. We can create more compassionate and understanding interactions by recognising the signs of disgust and reacting with empathy and understanding.
Remember, disgust is a natural emotion, and learning to navigate it effectively can lead to stronger, more respectful relationships.
