Contempt is a feeling of looking down on someone because you think you’re better than them in some way. It can happen at work, in schools, and personal relationships. This article will explain contempt and how we can deal with it.
What is Contempt?
Contempt is an emotion where you feel superior to someone else. For example, you might think you know more about a topic than someone else or believe you’re better at a job than your boss. Contempt can show up in different places, such as:
- At work, when employees feel more intelligent than their boss.
- In education, when people without formal education feel they have more practical knowledge than those with degrees.
- In relationships where one partner feels superior to the other, etc…
How to Handle Contempt Today
Here are some ways to handle it, with examples:
- 1. Recognise Feelings: When you notice someone showing contempt, acknowledge their feelings.
- Example: Your coworker is being dismissive about your ideas in a meeting. You could say, "I can see you feel strongly about this. Do you want to talk about it?"
- 2. Encourage Discussion: Invite the person to share their perspective.
- Example: If a friend rolls their eyes at your suggestion, say, "I see you have a different opinion. Can we discuss it?"
- 3. Focus on Actions, Not the Person: Address specific actions or behaviours instead of making personal judgments.
- Example: If your partner is making sarcastic comments about how you handled a situation, you might say, "I noticed your comments about my approach. Can we talk about what might work better next time?"
- 4. Reflect on Your Actions: If your behaviour may have caused someone to feel contempt, reflect on it.
- Example: If you interrupted a team member during a presentation and they seemed upset, you could say, "I realise I interrupted you earlier. I apologise and would like to hear your full idea."
- 5. Build Empathy: Foster an environment where empathy and respect are essential.
- Example: If a classmate seems contemptuous because they think they know more about a subject, you might say, "I appreciate your insights. Can you help me understand your perspective better?"
- 6. Promote Open Communication: Encourage honest and open communication.
- Example: If a family member shows contempt by ignoring your suggestions, you could say, "I value your opinion and would like us to have an open discussion about this."
Learning from Contempt
Contempt, like other emotions, can teach us about our interactions and relationships. By dealing with it constructively, we can turn it into an opportunity for growth and better connections. Here’s how:
- Identify Triggers: Understand what causes contempt to address underlying issues and prevent future problems.
- Improve Emotional Skills: Enhance your ability to manage and respond to contempt healthily.
- Strengthen Relationships: Resolving contempt through open dialogue and understanding can make relationships stronger and more resilient.
Contempt is a powerful emotion that can make you feel superior to others. While it might have helped our ancestors maintain social order, it can harm relationships and communication today. However, by acknowledging and addressing contempt constructively, we can transform it into an opportunity for learning and growth. This process can lead to healthier and more respectful interactions, fostering personal development and stronger relationships.
